My first 'White Stick' : Part 2

THE STORY (contd...) :
In general, I am a little shy! That day when I made The Decision and went out boldly at the pan-shop just beside the Alipore Zoo, I felt a little gurgling in my stomach ;) ... taking over me. However, I kept my cool and tried to be a 'natural'.

I said, "A Gold Flake please." (This name came to me as it was the most popular and regular 'diet' of my college friends). He handed me over the White Stick and I gave him a 2 rupee coin. Then again, acting as a natural, I said, "Dada, where's the fire please?" He handed me over a matchbox.

I lighted a match, held it at the end of the stick (yuck! the filter tastes bad) and oh my gosh, the white wont burn! (It never occurred to me that at the same time firing it, I should've sucked it!) The shopkeeper had assumed that I had managed to do it and took away the box. Embarrassed, I stood staring at the burnt end and then at the shop-keeper!

Hm... by this time the man knew I was a 'beginner' ! He lighted the next match himself and held it at the end. This time I made no mistake, I kept on sucking hard till atleast 1cm of it had been burnt. But, what a tremendous series of coughs, huffs & puffs I had! I kept on coughing and moved away from him to avoid further embarrassment! I moved on to the 230 Bus Stand and tried to concentrate ;)

Now I had another problem... no matter how much I suck, no smoke came out of my mouth. I gave out a wide fooooooo after sucking in, but no smoke :( I was rather confused !! Anyways, I assumed that something had come into my mouth after each suction and though I could feel nothing, I tried to gulp it down. This time, Hurrah! some smoke did come out of my nose (but still none from the mouth) ... anyways, I didn't give up hope and played the nosy game for some time, but the damned stick wont get finished.

Next I tried another trick... I tried to 'inhale' (that's what my friends say they do while smoking), so after sucking I tried to breathe in through the mouth. But wait! I had a tremendous pain in my chest, followed by another series of coughs, huffs & puffs !! Some people around did actually notice me doing something 'strange'... anyways I chose to ignore them and continue. Now I badly wanted this to finish!

Then I hurriedly kep on sucking, and without any smoke coming out. After sometime, when the thing got very small (touched the label), I got bored and decided to give up... I just threw it away (though now I repent that I should've kept it as a memoir/momento!). My whole mouth was filled in a very horribly bitter taste, two of my fingers smelt awefully bad and I was very apprehensive yet somewhat excited! I got a Chlor-Mint to freshen my breath and headed for the bus, with that aweful pain in my chest.

EPILOGUE :
After all this, I deecided at the spot, that, well... I still preferred Ice Cream over that damned stick and had no intention to have a go again... bless the pain in the chest! I headed for the British Council Library, raring to share the experience with someone, and I did post the first part from there!

My First 'White Stick' : Part 1

PROLOGUE :

The little white sticks ... they say are very addictive! The only time I remember having one, in fact, forced to have one was when I was 6/7 years old. Tilakmama's best-friend Dipakmama, gave me a taste. I remember choking and smoke gushing out of my nose, tears from my eyes and wind from my ears! From that day onwards I had no intention ever to try once more again. In fact I cannot even tolerate passive smoking, though I lash out rarely in general, but I do show utter disgust with my facial expression. As for friends, I continually try to discourage the habit, though in vain!

THE STORY :

Today, though a Wednesday, was like a typical Thursday...my Chillout Day of the Week! I had gone to bed at 3am yesterday night after watching Transporter 1 & 2 . Today morning mom woke me up with a rude thumping on the door at 9am. Then I took no risk to see 'The Exorcist' at night ;) and tried it out in shining daylight. But I found it wasn't scary at all :( The Ring did really kick the shit out of me instead. Anyways, back to the topic, I did have a lethargic morning, had my lunch and was out for the photo-session! Hey! Make no mistake, I'm not into modelling, it was just a shoot for the Voter's ID Card ;)

Anyways, I had a long walk to the National Library from my house. Then stood on the line from 2pm to 4:30pm! Oh! Bless the decision that I brought a story book (No-Honnote by Maitreyi Devi) and read it all the while.

After the utter chaos and confusion, pushing and suffocating crowd, I took to the Library canteen and had 2 vegetable chops and 2 cups of tea (and all for 5 bucks with tea at 50p per cup!). After that I admired the place, the green fields, the silence and solitude of the place with h-u-g-e trees and plants for sometime.

At that moment, I was missing someone, anyways, I felt like doing something exciting...was in a mood of an adventure... but what'd it be? The idea flashed like a lightening...why not try the little white stick?! ;)

I also felt apprehensive for sometime for even considering to do this...but however, I was somewhat sure, that being a Big Boy it wont hurt much. Arreh! C'mon! I'm almost 21 yrs old and I havent tasted that damned stick ever. I dont know what drove me to do this, but I decided to do it: To go for the stick intentionally for the First Time in my Life!

And what an experience I had !! (to be continued...)

The Death of Passions !

--"Hey Arun! I see that you're going out with that gorgeous babe! So you're finally engagaed? Congrats!"

--"Huh! 'engaged' ?? Who says? We're just having some fun! ;) "

This is a typical conversation among the teens & tweens today. They are very "professional" in their attitude. They know it's way too fun to go out with a gorgeous babe or a sexy hunk, but that's it. They dont want to get committed. Commitment is a big word for them. They're intelligent, and know that career come first. Once you get a good job, babes will come pouring in, and if you cant make a choice, leave that to your parents! So lets be a cool dude and chill out in life, flirt, have some fun and sleep peacefully at night.

But what I was wondering, where is the passion in today's generation?

The word "I Love You", which I consider to be a 'statement' (does it carry a question/proposition in it?read twice...) is now said to be a 'proposal' (which is actually "Will you marry me?")! The 3 'magic words' are so much used today, that it has lost its meaning, its charm. We see a nice girl in the street, meet her for one or two days and then "propose" ! We see a hot girl in a social reception, get her number and "propose"! We notice somebody pretty in college and then meet her and "propose" !

Isn't this an insult to the meaning in the real sense? Love doesn't come in showers, that you miss one but catch the other. Do we really know the difference between an infatuation and love? Even a prolonged infatuation isn't love. You'll feel it when you are truely in love. It isn't a game, its real life...it means a complete synchronisation of the body and the soul, when your hearts beat together, when you complete each other, when life loses its colours without the other person, when paradise dwells on the earth when you are together. It is way above just good looks, nice words... you can understand everything only through the eyes' speech... when you can always feel the existence of the other in each breath of yours while being oceans apart...its different, believe me, its much different!

"A soulmate is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

But where is this emotion today? We assume these only happen in story books which maybe sometimes rings a bell in your heart and makes you cry. But the next moment you wipe your tears (along with those 'stupid & irrational' emotions) and move forward in life and be a cool dude! Even most of the people who reads this post, will rate me a "very sentimental person blinded by emotions". I believe that to be humane there has to be emotions, to be humane there has to be sentiments. But under control. But atleast you need some of them in case to control this... there's no use trying to keep a jar of honey safe when there's nothing in it!

Do you have the passion? Or are you dead..., cool dude?

If...

If-
by Rudyard Kipling, 1895

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Beauty !