Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The Lazy Mind: A Phantom's Tale



Life has stopped (for me).
Nothing to do;
Nothing to think;
Nothing even to Desire!

The passions have left me -
The emotions have failed me..
Not even the sentiments,
Neither the patience-
Once I was proud of.

I am hardly human.
Just like a ghost,
A lifeless phantom-
Hovering through
The mists of space and time,
Untouched by the world
That goes around me,
That tries to grasp me
In its claws
Of Pain
Of Joy
Of Attachments.

I dont even feel lonely!
In fact,
I dont even feel!

Only black smudges
Fills me with irritation
An unspeakable despair...

Whatever I try
To Touch
It vaporises
Between my fingers
Leaving nothing behind.
Nothing.

All seems false.
All seems fragile.
Only I remain.
Only I.

Like I've seen all these
For millions of years-
The world as it is
Going on and on and on...
Everything seems
So cliched
So predictable
That it takes away
The Joy of Living!

I see the Cycle of Life
From up above a plane.

I exist here (on this plane)
Without a Mind.

And where my mind exists,
I do not.

Dragging myself on and on,
In this miserable, unreal physical world-
I just pretend to exist.
Dont even feel the urge
To struggle
To fight for my intentions,
As I have none!
I feel so tired
So pointless to exist!


Like an afterlife
Extended to live here again
And again, and again
For generations
Like an Ancient Tree
That holds the wisdom of centuries
But remains inert itself
To the sensory Outerworld.

I dont have the Will,
To do something,
Even to communicate.
I just pretend to exist-
But I actually dont...
Coz I feel no life.

I feel lifeless-
Like a phantom
Stranded in between
Salvation & Existence.

All in a Lazy Mind.