The Dark Summer

The summer is in full bloom.
Beautiful flowers in all their grandeur
Have exposed themselves
Swaying in the cool breeze
Or just sitting pretty in the lush gardens.

The days are long.
Sunlight remains smeared in the sky
Even past midnight.
'Tis like a careless stroke of bright colour
That the artist spilled in the night sky.
Like a persistent bee
Coming back and buzzing
Right onto your face.

The streets are full of people
Holding hands and smiling
Chattering away in the soothing sunlight
The Summer has come.

But I can a feel a darkness
Creeping into the corners of my heart.
All this bright and happiness
Feels like Fire.
I cannot touch it
But get burnt every time
I step in too close.

The darkness is like my shadow
It follows me everywhere
All the time.
It has transformed me
Into a Vampire
Trying to get a taste
Of the sweet happiness
From the lives of others
But gets burnt inside
Every time it steps into the brightness.

Time has flown by -
The last couple of years.
Still I feel every day is new,
Every day is the last of its kind.
But in my heart,
Time has stood still
For last two decades
Or from eternity.

I have met Lolita.
In many forms,
In many people -
But they have all slipped away,
Never to return.
But in my heart,
Time has stood still
Stuck in the darkness
Looking for my Lolita.

It began with an itch,
Then after years
Perhaps it became numb.
But now,
It is infected.
Spreading the darkness
To the corners of my heart.
Consuming itself,
Spiraling into the core
Of my existence.

May be soon
The darkness will take over.
But the only thing I would say then is:
Lolita, I had waited for you.
Only you.