Last night I was watching a TED talk on how our perception of reality has changed over the last few thousands of years (in Western world) from the Greek civilisation to the modern days. This talk put forward some questions on how we perceive reality and how we try to chase the idea of ‘The Truth’ (which also includes our sense of individuality, religion and perception of happiness) and try to look down upon the ancient perceptions of reality when it does not agree with our modern ways of thought.
This talk has moved me a lot and I wanted to write something on it.
The point that strikes me most is that we are so convinced that there is One Truth. And that’s where I feel most of the problems arise.
I was born a Bengali. I have started to eat Biryani since I was a child and now the taste and even the thought of biriyani doesn’t only comprise of the smell, texture or ingredients of the dish. It also lights up decades of memories of happy moments eating it with my friends and family, memories of experiences of trying biryanis from hundreds of restaurants across the country and my own trials of cooking it. So, this word ‘biriyani’ is hardly the food itself, it is like a box of a million things. I can truly never express in words what it means to me. It is something beyond words, beyond singular objective observations, beyond measurable parameters in which I can quantify/convey the experience to another person.
Probably the same goes for amatriciana to an Italian. The emotion of the true and good amatriciana can never be expressed to a person who never had it before or didn’t grow up with it like he/she has.
When we find happiness in a relationship with a person or our faith in a religion, it is natural that we want to share this happiness with the people we love or in an attempt to help a person who is unhappy in their life. But to be able to perceive it depends so much on the experience that person has from it.
Love is not theory but an experience and it can only be felt and not described.
For most adults, we are already either ‘engaged’ or ‘married’ to our past memories & experiences. And when we see someone in a beautiful relationship (with a person of with life in general) we want to have that experience in our lives as well.
But, should we leave our lives and try to jump into their life? If a person I like to follow is in a beautiful relationship with his wife, to learn from it should I try to fall in love with his wife? Or, should I learn how as a couple they live their relationship and try to use this into building a better relationship with my present girlfriend/wife? (as I assumed before that we are ‘engaged/married’)
Sometimes we say that we are open to other relationships/religions, and if we are convinced enough we can try to jump to the other boat. First, we need to be honest about ourselves when we say we are open. Are we so open that we can leave our place in life, which includes communities, society, beliefs and convictions that we held dearly for many years and jump to another boat just out of curiosity? Even if we attempt to jump, shall we not find our hearts trembling with hesitation, constantly confused and afraid of what we may lose or not like in the new boat?
I can say for myself, I’m open in the sense of curiosity. What I mean is that I’m open to recognise that my eyes (my personal idea of life) are blurry and not perfect and I need a pair of glasses (other people’s ideas and opinions) to see better. But I cannot deny that in the end it is my eyes which is the primary receptor of any experience of sight. But with new glasses, I see more clearly and helps me understand my world better.
To put in context, personally I admit I’m a Hindu but I’m open to observe and learn from a Christian or Muslim’s life and his relationship with God and try to use this in my own relationship to God as a Hindu. But to immerse fully or learn fully what their faith means to them, I have to jump the boat to theirs and spend many years to build up my new faith which comes with new doctrines and dogmas.
I cannot just read a few of their books, listen to the some of their people speaking and assume I understand what a Christian/Muslim faith means. Because to them their religion is a feeling, like love, which cannot be expressed only in words and letters but nourished over many years through experiences and polished through many struggles.
So to find ‘True Love’ should I keep jumping boats (keep trying to fall in love with other people’s wives) to learn what it is or should I use that experience to make true the love that I have already? Are we ready to spend years of time and energy to discover & immerse ourselves in others' cultures, histories and religions to find the 'True Religion'? Are we honestly so committed to it on top of our daily commitments to work and family and friends?
In the end, every couple who is deeply in love or every person deeply immersed in their own faith of God, feels the truth of this love in his heart and doesn’t need to express it in words & comparing with other couples/faiths to prove that it is true. All their relationships are true, unique and beautiful.
Similarly, there can be many religions, as long as that make people love God and love themselves and love people around them, it will bring them salvation. The doctrines and dogmas and scriptures will only work when there is love in our hearts, just like a poem of love only brings emotion because we read not just the words but also feel them in our hearts. But if the love is missing and we are lost & confused, no matter how much we read or quote or speak, it will remain only as intellectual arguments in the brain which would ultimately decay and die with time and age or only arouse confusion in times of real need.
Let us not struggle to find what is the ‘One True Reality’ of humanity. Instead, let us try to look inwards individually and try to discover and accept who we are in this life. Then with Grace the truth and the path will unravel by itself.
